Cold Shoulder
by Your Lady Star
Summary: He had supported Alfonse many times in the past and he had told him before about his worries of possibly losing him. He thought he'd come to understand what the prince felt when he would think this. But as the saying goes: you never truly understand one's pain until it happens to you.


_This story is one part my old fears of my ship getting sunk in favor of something else and one part wanting to switch the roles of what I typically put Alfonse and Kiran in._

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Even though her time with them was short, princess Fjorm was already adjusting well to being a part of the Order of Heroes. It was as though she had always been with them. She and Sharena had become best friends overnight, Anna greatly welcomed her and was taking great care to adjust their army to better combat their new foe, and she and Alfonse had come to bond through tactical planning. Kiran was very grateful to have her safe with them and he was very much looking forward to meeting Gunnthra after many nights of her contacting him through his dreams.

But he couldn't ignore the tight knot that formed in his chest anytime they were together.

Whether it'd be in reality or within his thoughts, the time they spent together always caused an indistinguishable pain to distract him from whatever he was doing. Fjorm was beautiful, graceful and had a kind heart capable of melting the snow that covered her homeland. He had heard from a number of soldiers on how they admired Fjorm and hoped that she would stay with them after the war had ended. Whether or not they meant it in formal terms he couldn't decipher. Alfonse had told him on how many soldiers in the army were waiting for him to announce his queen, how these would remain mindless hopes as Kiran meant far too much for him to abandon him for a woman. Kiran trusted his word, as he had proven before that he was the only thing that occupied his heart, but it didn't make the pain of seeing him grow so close to Fjorm in such a short time. He felt like he understood how Alfonse felt when he saw that soldier grab him when they were at the beach.

Kiran had never felt such a great connection with anyone in his own world; Alfonse was the first and only person he ever loved and it made such emotion like jealousy burn more fiercely. He hated how much the feeling burned in him anytime it decided to emerge, he hated how it affected his thoughts, how it made him spew silent rage towards Fjorm. The princess was a kind and understanding soul and she was already aware of his and Alfonse' relationship, he knew she would never do anything to sabotage it. But it didn't stop the dark voices in the back of his mind from warning him that she might one day go back on her word and steal the prince right from beneath him.

The fear that he would lose Alfonse not only haunted his every thought but was something he had to face on an almost daily basis. The foul villains they had recruited into the army had always mocked him about how a simple commoner from another world could never truly hold the love of royalty; it was how they took their frustrations on him since the spell he had placed on him stopped them from using actions instead of words. And ever since Fjorm had joined the army, she had become their new source of riling him up. Not even his usual tactic of forcing them to work three times as hard every day could silence them. Their words had wormed their way into his ears and nothing he could do could remove them.

This constant, unending worry had caused his performance to suffer, his input into strategic planning had lessened, mostly being occupied by Fjorm. He knew he was making his change in attitude painfully obvious, he felt the groups eyes on him when he suddenly stormed out of the room saying he needed some time to relax. He paid little mind to the soldiers he passed by as he made his way to his room and stood out on the balcony. He could feel the knot in his heart squeezing the breath out of him and the disapproving words and thoughts he'd been hearing throughout the two weeks since Fjorm had joined them speaking louder with each passing moment until they were all he could hear. His hands covered his ears, his fingers pulling at his hair as he desperately tried to shut them out. He had become so nulled to any other noise that he didn't notice that someone had entered his room until he felt a hand on his shoulder.

He turned and saw it was the very prince that his mind was terrified of losing, "Alfonse?"

"Are you all right, Kiran?"

"Y-Yeah, I'm fine," He removed his hands from his ears and turned away, his hands hugging his torso.

"I'm having a hard time believing that," Alfonse stepped forward to stand beside him, "I know how you look and act when you're fine, and this is nothing like it."

"It's… It's nothing, really," He spoke, struggling to keep his noisy thoughts from becoming vocal, "I-I think I'm just getting a little stressed from the situation. Muspell is a much greater threat than I anticipated, and I'm worried about what might happen to our soldiers, and especially about Gunnthra. And I know Fjorm is just as worried as I am, she is her sister after all. So, I just need some time to relax so I can focus. After all, it wouldn't be good for Askr's summoner to falter during such a time like thi-"

"Kiran. Look at yourself."

The prince's stern words pulled him out of his ramblings. When Kiran brought his focus back, he realized that during his speech, his body had subconsciously moved closer to Alfonse, his arms wrapping around the prince's left arm. Had the thoughts that told him to remain close to Alfonse and hold him close made him cling to him in such a way that voiced his desperate need to not lose him? He immediately released the prince and stepped back, his arms going back to holding his own body as he looked down.

"Kiran, tell me what's actually wrong with you."

He couldn't bring himself to look up, as he knew meeting the prince's gaze would be enough to make him spill everything that he had been holding in, "Alfonse… I-I'm fine… It's nothing you need to worry abo-"

"You're my lover, this is something that I do need to worry over," His voice softened, "I've shared sides of myself that not even Sharena has seen, I've trusted that you would accept even these darker sides of me. Don't you have that same trust in me?"

His head shot up, looking at him, "Of course I do! Nothing could break my trust in you!"

"Then please tell me what's been troubling you. I don't like to see you in pain and I want to ease you of it."

His sincerity slowly worked to break the chains that had been keeping everything held in, "I-I…" He sighed before speaking again, "… It's about Fjorm."

"Fjorm?"

"Ever since she joined us, she's become close to us… you and she have been getting along very well. And… the thought of it has been tearing me up. You trust that no one will take me from you and I trust the same from you, but… it doesn't make it hurt any less. It's the same as when you saw that soldier grab me, but much worse. I've been trying to hold it in every day, telling myself I'm just being ridiculous, but it just won't stop. These thoughts have been coming from my head and from others, all telling me that I'm going to lose you to Fjorm. It's made me think horrible things about her, things that I never like to think about any of my soldiers. I know that I shouldn't be glaring my thoughts at Fjorm, she's done nothing to deserve them, yet my fears and paranoia have developed a mind of their own. And I've had to be dealing with some soldiers pushing this deeper into my head. I've never been put into a situation like this before since you've always spent all your time with me, so now seeing someone else spend that time with you has caused everything to hit me all at once. It's made me realize how much I love you and how I can't bear to lose you." The chains that had been holding everything inside had crumbled to dust with each sentence, and he only just realized how much his vision was blurred. Bringing a hand to his moist face gave him the answer to that. He chuckled weakly, "I can't remember the last time I cried this much, I must look like a mess right now. Sorry, I didn't really mean for it to come out like th-"

For the third time, Alfonse interrupted him, this time by quickly closing the distance between them and holding the summoner close.

"A-Alfonse…"

"I'm so sorry, Kiran. You've been going through so much turmoil, and I haven't noticed any of it."

"I-It's not your fault… I haven't been very vocal about it-"

"No, it is my fault," He stepped back to look at the summoner, "You've always been able to tell if something is wrong with me at just a glance, and yet I haven't done the same for you. You are our summoner, but that doesn't mean you need to shoulder your burdens on your own. You deserve to have someone to rely on when you need it the most, and that's something that I need to get better at. I love you with all my being and, regardless of what will happen to us or who we encounter, that's something that is never going to change. And I will remind you of that every day if it will keep these horrible thoughts from ever entering your mind again. Would you allow me to do so?"

With the most grateful of smiles, Kiran sniffed and wiped away the tears that were still coming down, "I would love that very much."

Alfonse grasped his hand, placing a kiss on it before moving to kiss his lips. The slightly salty taste of the summoners tears did nothing to deter them. Kiran was back in Alfonse' loving embrace the moment they separated.

"And know this: Fjorm might be a great friend, but nothing she could do could ever make her as lovely as you. You mean too much and have done so much for me to give that up on a whim."

Kiran let out a quick laugh, "Dammit Alfonse, I just got done crying. Don't make me start again."

"If you want to cry, you can."

"I'd rather not, it makes me look like a mess."

"In your eyes, maybe so, but I don't mind it in the least. This frailty is merely another side of who you are, and I would never turn away from it. You've stayed by me at my weakest moments, and I will always be at your side at yours."

Alfonse felt Kiran bury his face in the crook of his neck, feeling the fresh tears on his bare skin as he spoke softly, "I'll show you, but not anyone else…"

"That's fine, it's your choice after all. The girls should be able to finish the strategy meeting without us. I'll stay here with you until you feel better," Alfonse smoothed his hand along the summoners back, moving his face to place a kiss on his cheek, "I'll stay with you, always."

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_If you'd like to support me and my work, feel free to support me on . Even the smallest amount would be greatly appreciated!_

_ yourladystar_


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